The Breath On The Back Of Your Neck
by Rosedreams
Summary: Sometimes you just have those days where you should have stayed in bed...


I knew as soon as my eyes opened this morning that today would be a bad day. Everything seemed normal though, on the outside. Get up. Work out. Shower. Drive to work.

The work part was where everything went surreal. It seemed as if everyone was trying to look at me without actually looking at me. Anticipation hung in the air like a swarm of killer bees.

I swallowed and squared my shoulders, determined to make at least my part of the day normal. As I headed through the hallways, behind me, hushed conversation began, making my skin crawl as if a thousand ants were marching on me.

Admittedly, my pace quickened towards the sanctity of my office, where thankfully everything was in its place and awaiting me.

I refrained from slamming my door on the pod people on the other side. I settled into my seat and took a deep calming breath, slightly disturbed at my accelerated heart rate and the perspiration dampening my temples.

As a master of my arts, I should not be exhibiting any signs of internal conflict, yet there I was, pressing a hand to the center of my chest like a damsel about to swoon.

In disgust, I forced myself to concentrate on my ever full inbox, with only an occasional wary glance at the door. That door, a simple plywood construct, seemed to be the only barrier between myself and the insanity without.

The clock had also become my enemy, ticking slowly towards lunchtime and escape.

For once, I was out of my seat and down the hall towards the exit on time, instead of trying to finish just one more report before going to lunch. I usually grabbed a bowl of rice and a cup of hot water from the cafeteria before returning to my office, but today, I felt a pressing need to be… elsewhere.

I hid out in a small hole in the wall Chinese restaurant. The food was Americanized, but palatable if I could stomach eating on an off day like today. Instead, I did what I never do, I played with my food. Sticky rice was very good at being molded into various shapes.

The hour was up and so was my hiding. I reluctantly paid for my meal and with slow steps, returned to work.

If possible, the tension was even higher than it was that morning. Darlene, our receptionist, squeaked and disappeared into the copy room. I scowled at her empty seat, then walked swiftly to my office and locked the door. As a precaution, I also tucked my chair under the door handle.

Being a desperate man, I did the unthinkable. I called Une and requested the rest of the day off. She just laughed and said that was just what she needed after the day she'd had, and then she hung up.

I stared at my phone for a good ten minutes before resorting to pacing my office restlessly, eyes glued to the clock and the blessed relief of 5 pm.

Around 4 p.m., a cloud of smoke rose from the crack under my door, and before I knew it, the floor was rising to greet me.

"NGH!"

"SHH! He's coming around!"

"Get ready!"

"NGH… gunnakillsumnnn"

My eyes squinted open and slammed shut, the gas they'd used had made me very sensitive to any sort of stimulus. The ropes around me felt like tight bands of steel, or a forced hug from Yuy.

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Wu Fei! Happy Birthday to you!" That sounded like a whole chorus of office workers and I could detect my fellow Gundam pilots in the mix. I now knew who that someone I'd kill would be. Maxwell. If only I could get past the others to do so. They seemed hell bent on keeping him protected from me for some reason.

When I could finally open my eyes without my brain spilling out of my nose, I was confronted by a huge monstrosity of a cake. The candles were spread out to keep the heat from forming large wax puddles, as they awaited a huff of breath from me. They could NOT be serious. Maxwell was grinning like the Cheshire cat while Winner had this creepy little Buddha smile. Barton's face was blank, but if you knew him well, you'd notice a just there smirk lurking around his lips. Yuy was missing from my sight, but a slight shifting behind me revealed what, or shall I say who, my restraint was.

Damn… I'd never be able to strangle Maxwell with his own braid at this rate.

Yuy must have sensed my inner thoughts as his arms tightened around me and his muscles tensed in preparation.

Damn…

A squeeze from Yuy against my mid-riff produced enough air to blow out the candles and everyone cheered from a safe distance away. I was left dangling as the others celebrated around me.

Yuy's chest rumbled as he spoke, "You have two choices. I can release you and you can at least pretend to enjoy yourself, or I can stand here all day holding you like this." He gave me a squeeze to emphasize his point.

Damn him! He had me between a rock and a hard place. Pretending to enjoy myself would mean… smiling…and… Ancestors forbid… socializing. I gritted my teeth hard enough that I feared they would crack, 'I'll… pretend…'

Yuy snorted and slowly released me and I quickly realized just how tight he'd held me when sweet air flooded previously compressed lungs. Damn that man had a grip.

I know my smile was… scary… but it was the best I had. My coworkers would start to wish me well and then… stop to shudder and find somewhere else to be. As I watched the personal space around me increase, I relaxed. Now… Now that they were mingling amongst themselves and cramming the overly sweet confectionary disaster of cake down their throats, I could plot my revenge.

Maxwell's braid was well out of my reach, but… If I could somehow make someone else do my dirty work… I turned quickly to hunt down the menace and the look on my face must have been thunderous as he startled and looked to be about to flee, but he squared his shoulders. "Hey man. Happy Birthday!'

I stopped a couple of paces away from him and pasted a smile on my face. 'It has come to my attention that Yuy and Barton do not have their own birthdays. I'm sure you and Winner would be able to remedy this dire situation if you put your heads together.'

A thoughtful look crossed his face as he glanced at Yuy. Without saying a word to me, he stalked down our blonde compatriot with a determined air.

I smirked and let myself slip away, not needing to hear the chaos the braided fool would be causing. With luck, Yuy would exact my revenge for me, and I could walk away smelling like a rose.

I had just made it home and slipped off my shoes when my phone rang. After a flick of my wrist the line connected and a deep knot of dread filled me as "Omae O Korosu" thundered out of the speaker.

I sighed as I quickly disconnected. No… Lady Luck had not smiled on me today.


End file.
